Change

Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't do well with change.  I am very much a "creature of habit".  I don't care for the summer when schedules are all over the place!  I like my routine and the familiarity of where I live.  I won't even change my house around much, I like things where they are.  I am a person of tradition.  My husband died a week ago today.  Even though he's not lived in this house for over 6 years because of severe health and mental issues, there was a "security" in being married.  In the space of a week my comfort zone has been demolished.  On top of it all I'm having to move to Ontario within a year...change.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and I know that in a few years when looking back on all this upheaval in my life I will see how God in His wisdom has directed in the way that was best for me...but I'm not doing good with change.

I've been thinking a lot of Job this week, and all the change he was forced to deal with in the space of 1 day.  He lost all his livelihood, all his children and then his health. 

Job 1:21 & 22  "Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, and said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither:  the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away:  blessed be the name of the LORD."

The very first thing Job did upon finding out this horrific news was worship the Lord!  He did not curse the Lord, he blessed the name of the Lord.  What a close walk he must have had with his Heavenly Father to immediately worship and praise when his heart must have been overwhelmed and broken.  Sadly I have to admit that I fell short of that example. 

The kids and I have had to spend a few days going through the boxes of belongings that we got back from the nursing home.  Just piles upon piles of notes and papers we had to sift through.  My husband had Parkinsons and bipolar.  Sometimes the thoughts would be jumbled on the papers but almost every note he wrote either started or ended with "Praise God...my hand didn't shake when I ate lunch" or "Praise God...I didn't drool when I took my pills".  My children and I are marvelling that in the midst of all the physical and mental anguish he was enduring, he remember the Lord and was praising God.  I'm so thankful that he left this testimony and example to his children. 

I'm also so very thankful to the Lord that He gave the three of us the time to set things right with him.  All three of us were able to forgive him for the past and to be able to show love, kindness and mercy while he was still here.  What a wonderful gift the Lord gave us in this...we have no guilt to deal with. 

I see the Lord's provision in miracles which have occurred in the past few days.  Money coming from very unexpected sources that are paying sudden bills.  My dear son and his precious wife are going to buy a house with an apartment for me to live in, my future will be secure. 

Change.  I need to follow Jobs example and praise God, realizing that my Heavenly Father has all things under control.

Psalms 113:3  "From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD'S name is to be praised."

 

I was made to praise the Lord and I will praise Him.

I was made to praise and glorify His name.

I don't know His master plan, but this I understand,

I was made to praise the Lord,

I was made to praise the Lord.

 

                                                Ron Hamilton